Tips for Letting Go Of a Loved One While Keeping Them Close To Your Heart

By: Shama Rhoden
Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The loss of a loved one is a traumatic event in anyone's life. After it has happened, many people feel as though their life will never return to normal and find it very difficult to carry on. Some also feel like if they were to resume their normal life, they would somehow be turning their back on the love they felt for the deceased.

Deep feelings of sadness, loss or guilt can make the survivors feel trapped. Some things can be done however, to help you deal with those feelings so that you can go on living a happy life while still keeping a special place in your heart for your loved one.

The Grieving Process

Grieving a personal loss is different for everyone. It's important to be kind to yourself through the entire process. You must deal with your emotions so that they do not have control over you.

Many people believe that being strong means keeping your feelings hidden or pretending they don't exist. They mistakenly think that this is the fastest path to resuming a normal routine. Unfortunately, bottling up your emotions will not allow you to move forward in a healthy way. It's better to take the time to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that you will doubtlessly experience. Give yourself permission to cry when you feel sad or become angry.

Take all the time you need to grieve. The grieving process does not have a set schedule. It takes as long as it takes. While you're grieving, you probably won't want to do some of the things that normally would make you happy. You may find it difficult to laugh even at the funniest jokes. Accept that you're going through a very difficult period, but you will get through it. Don't try to rush through it too fast.

Getting Help

Grieving is a very difficult process that often requires the support of others. In addition to seeking comfort by spending time with friends and family members, you may also benefit from other forms of support.

Many people who have a deep religious conviction find solace and help from their faith-based community. You can also find support elsewhere within your community. You can look into support groups made up of people who are going through a similar situation. This can help to make you feel less isolated and give you insight on different coping strategies.

What Comes Next?

It's difficult to imagine what your life might be like without that person you held so dear. Again, it's important to give yourself some time to allow it to unfold. Avoid making big decisions at first. You may have an impulse to sell your house, move to a different city or start a new career in an effort to change your surroundings. Be careful not to make any rash decisions that you may later regret. You may want to wait a little while, in order to think it through clearly and possibly seek the advice of trusted friends to make sure it will be the right decision for you in the long run.

In time, you will want to move forward and resume a social life. Gradually, venture out and do some of the things you used to enjoy. Take your time, and understand that you will have good days and bad days and that the bad days will eventually grow fewer and fewer.

Resuming an active lifestyle doesn’t mean that you are completely leaving the person you have lost behind. Pay tribute to their memory by talking to others who loved them, looking at photos and remembering them. This will help you to accept that they have gone while still keeping their love alive.

In time, you will once again discover the joy in life. Laughing, loving and enjoying life doesn't mean you have to stop thinking about the person you have lost or stop loving them. As you heal, you will naturally find that you can once again appreciate and enjoy some of the good things in life. It may seem impossible from your current vantage point, but with patience and kindness for yourself, you will eventually get there.


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